Kill What Hurts

I reach,
For one of the bottles,
Something inside me,
Tells me to stop,
That what Im doing,
Is wrong.
That I cant do it anymore.
That I am killing myself.

I reach anyway,
Grip the bottle.
Bring it to my lips
And take it long,
Deep draw.
It burns my mouth,
Throat and stomach.

For the briefest moment,
I feel complete.
The pain I carry,
Disappears.
I feel comfortable,
At rest, confident,
And secure.
i feel good.
Damnit I felt good!

The feelings,
Leave as quickly,
As they had came.
I want them back,
Ill do anything.
I take another bottle,
It doesnt work.
Bottle after bottle,
i drink,
Nothing works.

Instead of feeling better,
I increasingly feel worse.
My only option is,
To try and kill.
Kill what hurts,
Kill it.